Yule Groove #4: "Run Rudolph Run"
Keith Richards (1978)
Keith Richards does not seem like he’d be all that interested in Christmas. After all, every single day is Christmas for this guy, especially now that he’s gone sober, at least by Keith Richards standards. (Does the world really want a totally sober Keith? I think not.)
I realize he’s repeatedly behaved like a selfish asshole over the years, to the point that Bill Wyman surrendered the honor of being the Rolling Stones’ bassist because he couldn’t stand it anymore. Keith’s fuck-it-all behavior played a major role in that decision. But the elderly and relatively mellowed-out 21st-century Keith seems like a good enough guy. At least he has a sense of humor about himself.
Still, I can’t imagine him stringing popcorn and getting all misty-eyed when he sees the tree topper being pulled out of the box each year. I suppose his enjoyably ramshackle 1978 cover of Chuck Berry’s “Run Rudolph Run” proves that escaping a lengthy prison sentence can really kickstart the ol’ holiday spirit.
I’m sure it would work for me.
Without getting into too many ugly details, on Feb. 27, 1977, Richards was arrested by Toronto police for heroin possession (five grams of cocaine and twenty-two grams of heroin, actually) with intent to distribute.
He was in real trouble.
Canadian authorities weren’t fooling around. Because of the patently absurd trafficking charge—Did Keith Richards really need to sell heroin to make some extra cash on the side?—the most famous rock guitarist on earth was suddenly facing a minimum of seven years in prison.
This was no joke. The Stones were even having to decide what they would do if they were to suddenly lose the considerable services of one of their Glimmer Twins. It could well have meant the end of the band.
Things were very tense until later in the year, when Richards was unexpectedly rescued by a blind female fan who was part of the Stones’ Canadian circle. During his trial, the woman contacted the judge and told him how kindly and considerately Richards treated her whenever the Stones toured Canada.
“This chick went to the judge's house in Toronto, personally,” Richards said later, “and she told him this simple story, y'know? And from there I think he figured out the way to get Canada and himself and myself off of the hook. And so I was sentenced to a concert for the blind—which I gladly performed, y'know? And my blind angel came through, bless her heart, y'know?”
Hark! The herald angel sings.
Keith had dodged a bullet. And he wisely decided it was time for all this heroin nonsense to come to an end.
He claimed to have kicked his habit cold turkey by climbing the walls for three days while feeling like he had a mega case of the flu. Whether or not it was that quick is open to debate, but Keith is still here. He’s still standing, and he’s still playing.
The Stones were digging through scores of live cuts for their upcoming album, Love You Live, during Keith’s trial, and they were still working on it after his great escape. Some of Love You Live’s songs are from an El Mocambo gig in Toronto that the group almost didn’t make because of Keith’s arrest. That’s why he was in Canada with his trusty drug sampler in the first place.
It was during overdubbing sessions for this supposed “live” album that Richards’ newly cheerful mood led him to record and release a solo Christmas single, just for the hell of it. And it should come as no surprise that it was a rockin’ little number written by his biggest guitar hero.
Chuck Berry wrote and recorded the original “Run Rudolph Run”—I have no idea why it’s not called “Run Run Rudolph,” which makes far more sense, given the lyrics—in 1958. It’s a real kicker featuring Berry’s usual concise storytelling and amusing, goofy details.
Goofy or not, nobody else touches Berry as a writer of vivid characters and images, although a few have come close on occasion. Hank Williams is the only other performer who’s consistently in Berry’s league when it comes to this particular skill.
Everyone else is copying Chuck Berry and Hank Williams.
Richards has said he decided to record “Run Rudolph Run” because of the sheer novelty of releasing a Christmas single and because, to him, “it's the hippest Christmas song there is, you know. I mean once again Chuck Berry. Beautiful lyrics, a beautiful, joyful feeling about it, and it tells the story, short and snappy. And what a great track.”
When he recorded the track, Richards did exactly what the Stones as a unit should have done during this rather weak period in their history. He plugged in and turned on the tape machine. Then he overdubbed another guitar and a bass line. No screwing around.
Richards’ version of “Run Rudolph Run” sounds like a bootleg, and I mean that as a compliment. It couldn’t have taken more than an hour to mix it. The group consists of Keith on vocals, guitar, and bass; Mike Driscoll on drums; and fifth Stone Ian Stewart on piano.
So here it is—Keith Richards tearing through “Run Rudolph Run.” I’ve included the lyrics because you can barely understand much of what Keith says, and I want you to appreciate Berry’s gifts here, too.
Run, run Rudolph, Santa got to make it to town
Santa's in a hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
Then away went Rudolph, a-reelin' like a merry-go-round
Said Santa to a girl child, "What would please you most to get?"
"A little baby doll that can cry, drink, sleep and wet"
Then away went Rudolph, whizzing like a Phantom jet
Better run, run Rudolph, Santa's got to make it to town
If he's in a hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
And away went Rudolph, a-reelin' like a merry-go-round
Said Santa to a boy child, "What are you longing mostly for?"
Said, "All I want for Christmas is a rock and roll electric guitar"
Then away went Rudolph, whizzing like a shooting star
Well run, run Rudolph, Santa gotta make it to town
Better make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
And away went Rudolph, a-reelin' like a merry-go-round
Said Santa to a girl child, “What would please you most to get?"
"A little baby doll that can cry, sleep, drink and wet"
Then away went Rudolph a whizzing like a Phantom jet
Well run, run Rudolph, Santa got to make it to town
If he's in a hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
And away went Rudolph, a-reelin' like a merry-go-round
Yeah, run, run Rudolph, Santa got to make it to town
Well if he’s in a hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
And away went Rudolph, a-reelin' like a merry-go-round
Richards mixed the verses up a bit, and for some unknowable reason he replaced Berry’s Sabre jet with a Phantom jet. I’m sure Berry didn’t care, though, as long as he got his royalties.
There’s nothing better than a Christmas bonus.
Thank you Paul for another forgotten tale featuring a couple of my favorite sinners. Maybe this stunt inspired the guys to just "plug in and turn on the tape machine", and write and record Some Girls.